George Carlin Quotes

• The paradox of our time in history
• If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean that one enjoys it?
• Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
• If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
• When someone asks you "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
• When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
• Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar not called a racist?
• Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
• Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
• If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
• Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
• What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
• If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?